Chapter 2

[this story continues hours after Mike passed out while retelling the first chapter in his life]

I spent many a day in primary school, learning the colors and numbers that would plague my every waking day at a later age. I began reading at an early age and would read anything my eyes could locate. I was perplexed by the concept of black holes and space/time presented to me by a wonderful book entitled “The Berenstain Bears Discover Astro-Physics”. From there my literary curiosity spread further as I continued to expand my child’s library. I would read all sorts of novels, everything from “Goosebumps” to “A Children’s Guide to The Kennedy Conspiracy.”

I did more than read though. My fascination with worlds that were not my own was discovered unto me upon my reception of a large, gray GameBoy. No wait, my childhood begins with a tape-playing robot called 2-XL. For your enjoyment, I will tell my typist to find and include a picture. I will take this time to medicate myself with a cough syrup.

I return to elaborate more on my tale. I remember one day when I visited the local zoo, bewildered by the animals that I did not come into contact with less than a twenty minutes time span. At any given time…or any given Sunday…or any given July. Anyways, the zoo: I was young enough to play on the playground equipment and feed the animal. I had just taken a cool test in the reptile house…it measures one’s coolness in relation to Coolio.

Let’s just say where we are and go back to the car…we don’t want to be any worry. That’s true. After the zoo, I enjoyed many years of schooling.

NOTE: There are glaring omissions from this chapter of Mike’s life, including, but not limited to, violent interactions with goats in the petting zoo, an event referred to here on after as “The Ice Cream Incident”, and a variety of misdemeanors that gave him a legal record at a young age.